"Writing the Novel" Panel at CWA 2015

Amidst blooming crabapple and cherry trees, throngs turned out this week for the 67th Conference on World Affairs at CU-Boulder. Only a controversy about whether this beloved institution will continue to be free and open to the community put a damper on the activities.

It's a particular joy to see eminent panelists from all over talk about issues, life, and whatever inspires them, sharing viewpoints and insights that take us out of our quotidian thought processes. I listened to a panel called "Writing the Novel," attended by four novelists, each of whom had practical advice as well as general observations about the novel writing process.

These panelists agreed that attending workshops to learn the craft can be beneficial, but all emphasized that it's necessary to actually complete the long work, not just dream about it.

G. Willow Wilson, a young Muslim woman who writes graphic novels and created the female Muslim superhero "Ms. Marvel," outlined a number of steps, including how to find an agent, recommending "Jeff Herman's Guide to Book Publishers, Editors, and Literary Agents." The guide is updated frequently. By approaching agents who represented books similar to hers, she was able to connect with her agent of 10 years. Another valuable piece of advice is that the book should grab the reader's attention--from the very first sentence. It's unlikely readers will give the book 100 pages to see if it gets good.

Hugo, Nebula, Locus, and Campbell award-winning science fiction writer David Brin ("Earth," "Startide Rising," and other "Uplift" novels) felt the most important help a writer can get is criticism. He even went so far as to say that if an early reader said they loved his book, he'd remove them from the reviewer list in the future. He feels criticism was the key factor in making a writer improve.

Teen writer Anna Caltabiano has completed two Young Adult novels, the first when she was only 14 years old! This articulate, passionate youngster showed she understands what it takes to be a
writer, saying she enjoys putting two characters together in an empty room and seeing what develops. She often has an ending in mind, and writes outlines for the next several chapters, but doesn't necessarily plot out every detail in advance.

One of the most inspiring of the panelists was Leonard Pitts, Jr. Though he's a Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist, he recounted how he tried for decades to get a novel published, and hadn't succeeded
until 2009. His persistence finally paid off, though, and now he has four best-selling novels under his belt. He asked how many in the audience were "aspiring writers." He then said, "Ha, that's a trick
question! Aspiring to write isn't enough, you have to need to write."

As an aspiring novelist (seriously, I have at least written my first one), I hope to apply some of these hints toute suite.

Editor's Thoughts: "The Time It Happened"

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Sometimes themes just have a way of imposing certain genres on an anthology. Third Flatiron's previous anthology skewed heavily toward fantasy and epic themes. In contrast, this edition, which calls upon the theme, "The Time It Happened," is almost entirely hard science fiction. We asked for tales that evoke an event that everyone remembers, or certainly would remember if it were to actually happen.

In sifting submissions we were pleased to receive a number of time-tinkering** stories, including a return of favorite character Dr. Leon Prinz in Martin Clark's intriguing alternate history recounting of the Apollo 11 mission in "False Footfall."

As every writer knows, it's well nigh impossible to get a tin foil hat story published, but you'll be glad to know we're publishing not one, but two! Ellen Denton's "Stilled Life" nicely complements Clark's offering. Did you know that William Safire once wrote a speech for President Nixon in case the astronauts Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin got marooned on the moon? The excellent cover by Keely Rew shows an angry Neil Armstrong about to school the clueless Nixon.

Humans may have some exciting future events to look forward to as they reach for the stars, as in Richard Mark Ankers' "Armada of Snow," Evan Henry's "With Gilded Wings," and Jason Lairamore's "Kin Carriers."

We couldn't leave out Sputnik, of course. Thomas Canfield spins an engaging tale about who really won the space race in "Puppy Love."

There's a healthy helping of sobering "what-if" scenarios, including "Net War I" by Elliotte Rusty Harold, "Going Viral" by Dan Koboldt, and "Good to the Last Drop" by Wendy Nikel.

With the passage of time come memories, which can be either heartbreaking, as in Atar Hadari's "Lincoln's Watch," or heartening, as in Larry C. Kay's "What Was Lost."

Anchoring the collection is "A Rock in the Air," an affecting tale about a man who is thrown forward in time by the explosion in Hiroshima and his ultimate decision to return home to be with his people.

Our flash humor offerings, "Blargnorff Industries New Employee Handbook Human Edition" by Dana Schellings, "The Zzzombie Apocalypse" by Mark Hill, and "Xenofabulous" by Amanda C. Davis," show the importance of proper behavior and attire as well as a good work ethic.

"The Time It Happened" proudly showcases an international group of new and established speculative fiction authors, who help us recall events as they could only happen in the mind's eye.

It's available on Amazon and Smashwords.

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**If any of you cosmology buffs might be wondering if time is real or simply a construct of the human mind, we recommend a Guardian review of the Unger and Smolin book, "The Singular Universe and the Reality of Time," by Caspar Henderson.

Everybody Jump

Could you cause an earthquake if enough people jumped up and down at the same time? And if you could, would it save a lot of lives to
create earthquakes on demand?

Author Henry Lien explores that question in his excellent fantasy novelette, "The Great Leap of Shin," appearing in the January/February
2015 issue of Analog Science Fiction and Fact. The powerful Eunuch Mu-Hai Chen is determined to create the Earthquake of Five Thousand Years by lining up 200 million men along a major fault line in his kingdom and synchronizing their jumps to set up a resonant frequency, prophylactically saving millions of lives, though at the expense of a percentage of the population.

But the young nobleman Tian-Tai is equally determined to halt the plan, which will destroy his island of Pearl and flood the Purple River. He brings a team of acrobatic dancers to the capital to assassinate Mu-Hai Chen under the guise of paying homage. He pleads to save Pearl, which has developed a self-healing new building material of spider silk made liquid.

Neither the eunuch nor the boy will back down, so the great leap occurs as scheduled. The kingdom of Shin lies in ruins, and older buildings of the city of Pearl are flattened. Then we learn how history treats each one for his sacrifice.

Lien's calculations of how the Great Leap would work are highly entertaining, though a peek at Hugo winner Randall Munroe's book, "what if?" shows us that it would be impossible to make the earth move even a little, even if everyone on earth jumped, even if they were in a concentrated area the size of Rhode Island, even if...

Great fun, nonetheless.

Editor's Note: Abbreviated Epics

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What is an epic? The dictionary defines it as a long poem, typically one derived from ancient oral tradition, narrating the deeds and adventures of heroic or legendary figures or the history of a nation. Third Flatiron's tenth quarterly anthology, "Abbreviated Epics," is a double issue, encompassing 19 very short stories on epical themes, such as swashbuckles and sorcery, alternate history and steampunk, megalomania, Frankenstein-type tales, and creation myths. As you might guess, it is quite a fantasy-heavy collection.

In reading submissions we were intrigued to receive a number of tales drawing upon Japanese and Chinese mythology. Our lead story, "Blade Between Oni and Hare," by Siobhan Gallagher, brings a marvelous—and often strange to Western eyes— viewpoint to the idea of an epic struggle. Other notable tales with feminine heroines include "Rain over Lesser Boso" by Gustavo Bondoni, "The Perfection of the Steam-Powered Armour" by Adria Laycraft, and "Qinggong Ji" by Stephen D. Rogers. What could be more appropriate than a manga-style cover?

If Victorian and Napoleonic steampunk is more your cup of tea, you'll find some damn fine exemplars in "Beyond the Turning Orrery" by Deborah Walker and "Through an Ocular Darkly" by Martin Clark. Daniel Coble rounds out this group with a tale about a lost Himalayan expedition, "Assault on the Summit."

During my studies of medieval literature, I grew especially fond of the Norse sagas, both owing to their bloodthirsty, ambitious characters and strong moral content. We're happy to include Jordan Ashley Moore's "A Wolf Is Made," and Steve Coate's "Fortunate Son," passionate, and sometimes heartbreaking, stories inspired by the Viking civilization. And since epics by definition are poems, we've included a reprint of "Odin on the Tree" by poet/novelist Jo Walton.

Many writers are familiar with American mythologist Joseph Campbell's deconstruction of "The Hero's Journey," which outlines the basic pattern of an epic. We were tickled to see satirical pieces by Elliotte Rusty Harold and Jake Teeny, "Refusing the Call" and "Toward the Back." And Manuel Royal points out that sometimes the battle just goes "Heart-Shaped."

Our flash humor offerings, "The Committee," by Margarita Tenser, and "Damfino Plays for Table Stakes" by Ben Solomon, show us not to press our luck.

In "The Lost Children," Alison McBain provides a new take on the ancient Greek myth of the Minotaur, while Patricia S. Bowne invents a shiny new myth in "Great Light's Daughters." "The Blue Cup," by Marissa James, asks whether it is possible to recapture a long-ago, magical time.

While we don't have room for sweeping histories like "Dr. Zhivago," we call to your attention "On a Train with a Coyote Ghost" by Robin Wyatt Dunn and "HMS Invisible and the Halifax Slaver" by Iain Ishbel. These are affecting and luminous stories about the courage it takes to fight evil, fascism, and slavery.

 "Abbreviated Epics" proudly showcases an international group of new and established speculative fiction authors, who share with us just a smidgen of the heroic and grand.

It's available in all ebook formats from Amazon and Smashwords (and other popular distributors) and in paperback from CreateSpace. It's getting some good reviews already on Amazon and Albedo One.

Review of "Fish Tails" by Sheri S. Tepper

I hadn't read any of Sheri Tepper's work since "Beauty," the excellent 1991 dystopia/feminist story, but was given a review copy of her new book, "Fish Tails." It's the conclusion of a trilogy that began with "A Plague of Angels" and "The Waters Rising."

We have an intriguing beginning, as Abasio and Princess Xulai travel about the post-apocalyptic planet, a thousand years in the future, letting folks know everything's about to go under water. Their message: people are going to have to evolve tails and gills. It's "The Little Mermaid," but in reverse!

Abasio and Xulai have undergone an evolutionary procedure and produced
two babies that can survive under water, and they are recruiting other
young people to do the same. Not everyone likes the idea of tampering
with the human genome, of course.

Xulai carries in her pocket a fascinating gizmo called a ul xaolat,
leftover technology from Earth's past. It's an AI that gets power from
transformers on the moon capable of providing defense and services to
the possessors. She's unaware it has become autonomous over time.

Tepper switches to a dreary setting where Grandma Lillis puts up with
living in a valley where the men are cruel and stupid and the women
just go along with it. You wonder, who would put up with such a thing?
Oh, right, half of Earth. Grandma spends all her time lecturing her
granddaughter about the ills of the world, including humanity's
tendency to "monkey brain" thinking. Tepper is rather preachy here,
but she's preaching to the choir. At any rate, we know she and the child,
"Needly," are special.

The story is mostly a long journey, traveling to meet up with
characters that Tepper fans may recognize from previous books. Along
the way, they encounter cannibalistic giants and bio-engineered
griffins. Abasio gets clues about their next steps from dreams, which
seem to indicate that alien entities are interested in Earth events.

Maybe it's not "The Little Mermaid," after all. Maybe it's a Higher
Power deciding to wipe out humanity in a great flood.

Ultimately, it is revealed that the flood is indeed by design of
intergalactic meddlers. They feel that humans are destroying their
planet and are not worthy to join the galactic civilization. They're
willing to give humanity one last chance, however, by presenting an
"extinction" problem (the flood), and seeing if there are individuals
who can save the species and thus become deserving of survival.

Tepper devotes lengthy interludes to showing the importance of the
griffins and gaining them as allies and future fellow sea
creatures. Basically, they represent all the species that may have to
be left behind. To me, though, the question arose as to why the focus
shifted away from Abasio and Xulai's babies, who represent the
future. However, we are comforted by the fact that, in the end, there
will be a future.

Review of "Unidentified Funny Objects 2"

The second annual scifi/fantasy humor anthology edited by Alex Shvartsman contains
19 fun stories. Shvartsman is quite the humorist in his own right, so
it must have been hard to keep from throwing one in himself. Not every
story in the collection is laugh-out-loud hilarious, but humor is
subjective, and this reader did utter some chuckles, giggles, and a
few outright guffaws.


"The MSG Golem" by Ken Liu was yet another golem story, but this time it was seasoned with an added soupcon of hot and sour Chinese culture and cuisine.

In "Service Charge" by Esther Friesner, a wizard works hard to insult a dragon to get it to blow itself up before it can fly off to destroy a neighboring kingdom. A fair approximation to the US and UK visa systems.

"Item Not As Described" by J. W. Alden is a hilarious parody of how Craigslist might work in the Cthulhu mythos. No dissatisfied customers here.

"Stranger vs. the Malevolent Malignancy" by Jim C. Hines has a superhero getting cancer, but he's impervious to treatment. Meanwhile, his cocky tumor really sticks it to him. The author dedicated this story to Jay Lake, who died recently.

"How to Feed Your Pyrokinetic Toddler" by Fran Wilde is the first one that made me laugh out loud ("Get a metal spoon and bowl (no plastic!)").

"A Stiff Bargain" by Matt Mikalatos features a relative of Van Helsing the famous vampire hunter. He's got a deal with the town to keep out the supernatural riffraff, but it's a handful when a new cult moves in.

In "The Girl with the Dagon Tattoo," Josh Vogt introduces a girl who wants a tattoo with unmentionable powers. Although she doesn't possess enough skin area, she manages to talk her demonic ink slinger into a condensed version--something tasteful that fits on the ankle, I assume.

"Improved Cubicle Door" by M.C.A. Hogarth takes us to an office fueled by magic. One of the employees has been moonlighting for the competition. We eventually find it's because he just wanted a door instead of a cubicle.

In "On Safari," Mike Resnick offers a Robert Sheckley-esque tale about the lucky winners of an all-expenses paid safari to the planet Selous. Unfortunately, it's the tour guide's first trip.

"How You Ruined Everything" by Konstantine Paradias has the perfect title. Much better than "The Time Machine," and funnier. I always loved those scenes of Rod Taylor curiously stopping and sampling the different ages. Flash, sun, flash, dark...Oops, Morlocks.

"Insider Information" by Jody Lynn Nye seemed more like a mystery than a comedy, about why the CEO of an Oculus Rift-like virtual reality company decided to off himself. Nonetheless, it was exciting, and we enjoyed the parasitic alien character, K't'ank, who had not one, but two apostrophes in his name.

"The Haunted Blender" by K.G. Jewell. Hey, Colorado's most famous edible export gets a mention! This one had me salivating and wishing I had a bowl of cool, refreshing gazpacho, in spite of the spectral complications involved with the ingredients.

Ah, youth. In "The Retgun," by Tim Pratt, an otherwise charming young lady afflicted with a bad case of coprolalia shows us what it's like to be the companion to Dr. Who, er, Kirtley, trying to make the universe a better place. It's a damn wild ride, writ large by a master.

"The Diplomat's Holiday" by Heather Lindsley shows there's a little breakage when galactic diplomats cut loose on holiday after carrying the weight of the universe on their shoulders all year. I wonder if the author got this idea from Obama's Secret Service staff.

"Congratulations on Your Apotheosis" by Michelle Ann King is another "magic in the workplace" type story, but this life coach usually avoids using it, when an omniscient "assistant" shows up. She's bored, she's got time on her hands, and she *really* wants to help. Reminds favorably of "Bedazzled," one of the funniest of the funny.

"One Thing Leads to Your Mother" by Desmond Warzel opens with an officer who's fixed his broken spaceship and just needs to restart the main program, but he's forgotten his password. Can the onboard AI ("S.H.R.I.N.K") help? Of course not. But it's read "Rumpelstiltskin," so it knows a lot about good guesses.

"Class Action Orc" by James Beamon is one of several stories set in Beamon's Seven Realms world, and we would like to see more. Anglewood (Ang Ul Wud) is one heck of a jailhouse lawyer. I guess Orc is the new black.

"The Wiggy Turpin Affair" by Wade Albert White. Here we have a lady killer (not a ladykiller) coming off a job on the moon to investigate a murder PG Wodehouse-style. Dash it all, the victim refuses to stay dead, but luckily the robot butler takes the initiative.

"Hannibal's Elephants" by Robert Silverberg occupies the pole position of the anthology. I love the idea that when aliens invade Manhattan, everyone will rush to their favorite bar and "drink like mad." What else you gonna do? That's life in the Big Apple.

The book's available on Amazon in ebook or paperback.

Review of "Sword and Sorceress #28"

Have just finished "Marion Zimmer Bradley's Sword and Sorceress 28," a well-edited collection of short stories featuring strong
heroines in magical fantasy settings. Elisabeth Waters has done a
great job of anthologizing tales by both former contributors and
writers new to the field of high fantasy.

 1. In Jonathan Shipley's "Dead Salt," sorceress Jenna works with army
buddy Trayn to keep the peace, but she doesn't get much respect.
When they lay their lives on the line, we again appreciate how public
servants sacrifice on our behalf, even when we don't deserve it.

2. In Catherine Soto's "The Rolang of Taiyung," we meet dagger-wielding
Lin Mei and her cat familiars, called upon to investigate the
mysterious appearance of a Rolang, a zombie assassin. The lovely world
Soto creates is reminiscent of Lian Hearn's "Tales of the Otori"
trilogy, but it seems the heroine solves the mystery a bit too easily.

3. Jessie D. Eaker's "Tear-Stained Sword," is a tale of a royal family
both graced and cursed with magic. In spite of sororicide, regicide,
and fraticide, the family comes out on top.

4. Rebecca G. Eaker's "A Variation in Silence" follows a deaf and blind
girl's discovery of the power of music when a magical Troubador comes
to town.

5. Taverns have been overused settings for fantasies ever since Frodo and
Strider fled the Prancing Pony in LotR, but Dave Smed's "The Tavern at
the Ford" is a fun variation on tried-and-true tropes. Coil and Azure
are descendants of a disembodied goddess, who wants their bodies to
restore herself (sort of a Voldemort-style predicament, yes?) and
sends a giant spider in pursuit.

6. By far the best of the bunch, Pauline J. Alama's "The Damsel in
the Garden" recites a medieval-style tale of a knight in shining armor
braving magical perils to save three brothers. But this knight is a
girl, who not only prevails in this exciting quest but finds true love.

7. "Ghost Spike" by Jonathan Moeller reprises his heroine Caina, a Ghost
spy for the imperial army who hopes to marry Lucan, whose wife was
killed by a necromancer 10 years earlier. The couple is shocked to
discover Lucan's wife may still be alive and a hostage. Although Caina
believes she may have lost Lucan, her trickery defeats the kidnapper, and
she wins at love as well.

8. Ah, a funny one. "Ru's Bad Day" by Lorie Calkins gives us a glimpse of
what it's like to be "befriended" by a dragon. Most agreeable and
definitely not boring.

9. In "The Vine Princess" by Steve Chapman, a princess meets her
doppelganger in the bowels below the castle. It's such a good copy,
she's not even sure she's herself.

10. "Trading Gifts" by Rabia Gale is a lovely fantasy of a kitemaker
who trades gifts with street urchins in return for kites. At last she
finds an urchin who has a most precious gift to trade.

11. Sorceress Laurel of Albion is apparently on loan to the Imperial
Court of China in "A Drink of Deadly Wine" by Michael Spence and
Elisabeth Waters. Unfortunately, using the golem spell on the clay
soldiers of Chin Shih Huang Ti is not a particularly surprising plot,
though the setting is well drawn.

12. "Promises and Pastry" by Melissa Mead shows what might have
happened had Cinderella turned down her fairy godmother's offer of
help. Could I interest you in a salmon puff?

13. "Where There's Smoke" is another of Michael H. Payne's series about
Cluny the cat and her two familiars, a human and a firedrake. This time
she's summoned by the Queen of the Realms of Fire to account for past
actions. Weren't light refreshments supposed to be served afterward?

14. "Justice" by Suzan Harden takes us on an adventure with an
unwilling justice of the peace and executioner. She finds justice,
mercy, and love are all inextricably intwined.

15. "Pearl of Tears" by Deborah J. Ross gives us a girl who devotes
her life to avenging her brother's death at the hands of a sorceress
wielding a powerful talisman. But revenge is not the answer. The evil
talisman was a bit derivative of the One Ring in LoTR.

16. "What's in a Name?" by Katharina Schuschke. Mufke, God of Despair,
that's what.

The book's available from Amazon.